Death Note On Crack
by AnimeFanAndLover13
Summary: Okay, well, Misa is somehow high, the guys threw a party the night before, evryone has a hangover, it smells of puke and vodka, Misa's stuck to clean it, and then something goes wrong. What, The, Hell?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! This is my Death Note story! It's a crack-fic, if the title didn't already explain it. I'll be making Misa a smart blonde, and in charge, and I'll make the others do retarded things. Hope you enjoy!**

**Death Note On Crack**

**Chapter 1**

Misa was walking to L's headquarters, unaware of who was there and who was missing. As soon as she opened the door, it smelled of alcohol and puke.

"What the _hell_!"

She covered her nose and went to the main room, as she called it.

"Light! L! Where did _Mello_ and _Matt_ come from! Since when is there a chandelier and a _stripper_ pole here! And why is Near on top of a pile of toys without a _shirt_ on! And where _is_ everyone else!"

She heard them all groan.

"Where the hell did my chocolate go!"

"Calm down man, have you seen my boots?"

"Matt! Shut up!"

"Up yours Light! Go suck Misa's dick!"

"Excuse me! I'm right here!"

Everyone turned their attention to her.

"What the _hell_ happened here! Can someone at least tell me _why_ Near is looking for his shirt between 2 fire truck toys!"

"Jeez Misa, why are you so loud?"

"I'm not loud Light, you just have a hangover."

"Ah! My shirt is _covered_ in milk chocolate! My _poor_ white shirt!"

"Hey! Give me my chocolate back Near!"

"Get it off my shirt Mello!"

"Shut up!"

Again, they all turned to Misa, who was red in the face and seething with anger.

"Stop ignoring me already! Now clean this place up and get rid of that stripper pole! As well as that chandelier!"

"Hey Misa, why don't you show us a few tricks on the stripper pole?"

"Hey Mello, why don't you go fuck a male stripper?"

"I'll shut up now."

"L! Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"To get some cake?"

"Hell no! You clean all that vodka from the floor and table!"

"Yes ma'am!"

She told everyone what to do and she saw they were hopeless cases.

"Thank god I'm wearing jeans today."

She was also wearing a black short tube top and a white blouse on top of that with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

"Let me clean it!"

She then took out some things like gloves, soap, detergent, and others. She got to work. She picked up all the toys, put them away, she cleaned the alcohol from the floor and tables, s well as chairs, she mopped the floors from puke, sprayed some air freshener, put Nears shirt in the laundry, gave Mello his chocolate back from the cupboard, kicked down the stripper pole, cut off the chandelier, and broomed away the rest of the alcohol bottles.

"There, done."

"Wow."

She turned around and saw the guys had said that in unison. They were looking at her with a plain weird expression.

"Oh, here's your boots Matt."

"Uh, thanks."

"Now L, you could go eat your cake. Light, Mello, sit down. Near, Matt, stand up."

"Uh, what are you guys doing?"

She turned to see L.

"Ah, L. You go stand in between Light and Near."

"Uh, okay?"

He did as he was told. When he was there, and they were all looking at her curiously, she then looked at them all through a frame by her fingers and then smiled.

"You guys could make a movie! We have a whole bunch of retarded characters! We have Near who's obsessed with toys, and L who loves sweets, and Mello who's in love with chocolates, and Matt who's like a pedophile, and Light who's a crazy mother fucker!"

She was laughing her ass off on the floor while the guys were all glaring at her.

"Okay, this is the best part. You guys, are all, depressive, _mental_ escapees!"

After she said that, she laughed even harder.

"You make no sense!"

"Your _face_ makes no sense Light!"

"I think she got high before coming here."

"No I didn't L, _you_ got high, with yo _mamma_!"

At this point her face was almost purple.

"Yeah, she's crazy."

"No I'm not Light, I'm positively _Happy_!"

"Oh God!"

They all said at the same time as Misa got up and started running around holding a tissue she got from her purse. On it, she had scribbled a mini her and the world under her with all of the guys in the room under her feet.

"I'm going to rule the _world_! I will make all of you my _slaves_! You will have to swim in a pool of _jello_! I will make you eat raw _potatoes_! Fear my wrath _Suckas_!"

"Light, go get the tranquilizer that's in back of the lamp."

"How the hell did you _get_ it?"

"It was in my cake."

"Oh. Wait, _what_!"

"No time to explain, just go!"

"Uh, sure."

So as Light was walking to get the tranquilizer, the rest of the guys were chasing after Misa. She kept running away and even climbing up the walls!

"For god's sake Misa-Misa! Please come down here!"

"Never! Matsuda, go play with yourself!"

"I've got some lipstick!"

"Is it chocolate flavoured?"

"Yes!"

"That just proves to us all that you're more gay then we thought Mello!"

"Just shut up and come down!"

"Up yours Matt! Mello's dick up your ass!"

"Oh Misa~"

"What?"

"I have a special something for you. It will make you lose weight. It's a shot though, so don't be scared."

"Yay! I knew I could count on you Light!"

"Yeah so just come here."

She got down from on top of a cupboard, and then took the needle.

"You liar! That's not-!"

But before she could finish her sentence, she was out cold on the floor.

"Finally. Hey thanks L, you were right. That stuff really _is_ powerful."

"No problem, as long as she's out for a long while."

"What do we do with her?"

"Simple Matt, we cover her up in _chocolate_!"

"That's just creepy and disturbing."

"Shut up Near!"

"Why don't _you_ Mello?"

"Ugh, my head hurts."

"Noooooooooo!"

"How is that _possible_!"

"Hold me!"

"Get off me L!"

"Don't drop me Light!"

"Shut up all of you!"

"Crap!"

They all screamed. This was gonna be one hell of a day.

**A/N: Well, here it is. I hope you all enjoyed it! Please review! And also, I take criticism as well, any kind, go ahead. Please don't hold back, tell me your honest opinions. Well anyways, Gotta go! Bye guys! Love ya all!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys, hope you enjoy the next chapter, I might not make it more then 5 chapters, since it is too retarded. Anyways, I'll just shut up and let you guys read. Enjoy!**

**Death Note On Crack**

**Chapter2**

"No Misa don't eat me!"

"SHUT UP PUDDING NEAR, I WILL EAT YOU!"

"Oh my god, shut up guys! I have a hangover, I will kill you all if you don't shut up!"

"OH MY GOD MATT! I told you he was Kira! I knew it! I-"

"L I AM NOT KIRA I WILL STRANGLE YOU IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD!"

Mello was too busy eating chocolate in the corner and going insane to realize Matsuda was pissing beside him.

"Light, get your ass back here! Near won't let me eat him and I want you to help me! FLY UNICORN LIGHT! FLY TO THE PUDDING!"

"Misa get off me, I'm not a unicorn."

"How did we get into this place anyways? Who's mansion is this?"

"Well L, it's Misa-Misa's parents' mansion. And now they're going to kill us after they find out it's trashed..."

Misa started munching on Near's hair while he was traumatized in a corner and trying to get rid of her.

"MATT STOP BEING A PEDO!"

"YOUR MOM'S A PEDO LIGHT!"

"Chocolate~"

"Hold me!"

"Bite me Light."

He bit Matsuda and Matsuda went crying next to Near in their emo corner.

"PARTY IN THE COTTON CANDY MANSION!"

"Since when is Misa a monkey?"

"SINCE YOU'RE MY PUDDING CUP! GET BACK HERE!"

Misa jumped down and Near ran for his life. Matsuda and Kight were trying to find out why they were wearing eachother's clothes and L and Matt were trying to understand why there was a hooker in the closet.

"CHOCOLATE~!"

And of course Mello was eating chocolate...again.

"Chocolate~"

"I GET IT YOU FREAKING CHOCOLATE EATING MOLESTED FREAK!"

"UP YOURS YOU CHOCOLATE HATING MODEL!"

Near ran to Matt to get away from Misa.

"Oh my god a unicorn!"

"I am not a unicorn! Light save me!"

Light kicked L to Misa and they played soccer with him. The hooker woke up and then passed out near Mello, he then covered her in chocolate.

"Chocolate~"

"THIS IS GOING ON YOUTUBE!"

Near was holding a camera, but the lens was facing him. No one bothered to tell him that so he kept filming it that way. Matsuda was sleeping on Matt and Matt was playing a videogame on his psp.

"POTATO WAGGON IS A POTATO DRAGON!"

"Says your mom Misa."

"SAYS YOUR SISTER LIGHT!"

"That made no sense."

"NEITHER DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

"You _are _my girlfriend."

"Oh, well in that case, NEITHER DOES YOUR DOG!"

"That's _our_ dog."

"Oh I knew that..."

Mello fell asleep on the chocolate covered hooker while Misa and Light were fighting and L and Near were arguing for the camera. Near then dropped it and it broke, then they were both crying on the floor.

"Eat my shorts Light!"

"You're wearing a skirt Misa, and don't make fun of Bart Simpson! He is the true genius behind all of our oranks and he will be treated with respect!"

"Light you're high, he isn't even real."

"Shut up! I know he is! Eat my shorts L!"

L shrugged and started munching on Light's pants which left Light running and screaming for dear life.

"THE APOCOLYPSE IS COMING!"

Matt got fat and Mello turned to Jello while Misa maxed her visa and Near got new hair while L got a new cell and Light took a flight and Matsuda was in the corna. In other words, Matt became sore, Mello became extremely numb from the drugs he took, Misa spent her credit card on booze, Near's hair was changed because of the change he got from the booze, L lost his so he got a new one and prank called, and Light got totally wasted, and Matsuda was in his emo corner.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME YOU SON OF A POTATO!"

Light was talking into a banana.

"AHHHH THIS SHIT IS GOOOOOD!"

Near was enjoying himself alot.

"Is your refrigorator running?"

L was making prank calls.

"Ohhhh yeahhhh, I like this new shizzz."

Misa was drunk out of her mind.

"I hate life."

Emo Matsuda, is not fun.

"GOD DAMNIT THESE POTATO CHIPS HIT ME IN THE HEAD!"

Again, sore Matt is a fat guy getting hurt all over, even if he isn't fat.

"RAINBOWS~"

Mello on drugs. No other eplanation needed.

"OH YEAH WE ROCK!"

They were all just gone on their own planet. No need to worry for them. Matsuda then peed in the corner and the hooker took off her chocolate coat and started pole dancing.

"NO MORE STRIPPER POLE!"

Misa kicked it and then her and the hooker had a bitch fight. Light and L were fighting for a cookie which Near stole and they ran after him then he was chased after by Misa because she wanted her pudding. Matt got blamed by Matsuda for pissing in the corner then he chased after Matsuda for lying and Mello ate a burger.

"SCREW CHOCOLATE THIS IS THE SHIT!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and went to eat a burger then they all resumed after eating as if they never stopped in the first place. Matt tripped Light, who fell over Mello, who fell over Misa, who fell over the hooker, who fell over Matsuda, who fell over L, who fell over Near.

"OH YEAH I WIN!"

"NO YOU DON'T MATT YOU CHEAT!"

"UP YOURS MISA!"

"SHUT UP GUYS!"

"LIGHT GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY FACE!"

"AS IF I COULD NEAR!"

"YOU TWO ARE ANNOYING!"

"SO ARE YOU MATSUDA!"

They kept arguing until the hooker started stripping and her and Misa had a big huge bitch fight again and the guys were throwing down money.

**A/N: This one was totally random, and I really am starting to wonder why I wrote it in the first place. Oh well, it was fun, and I had a good laugh. Hope you guys did too! R&R!**


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